Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Who did Billy Mays play for?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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