I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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