it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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