Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
