I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Dick very happy bro
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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