the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
