thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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