She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We smell like vodka and hangover
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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