I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
