I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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