Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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