im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
