I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
