Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
please come you make the beer taste better
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Randomize
