Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
