how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
