Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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