we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My balls are so social today.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
