The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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