So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
