Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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