Cold hands, warm shart.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
His nipple licking is glorious
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