I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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