Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
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I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
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Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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