Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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