there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
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