there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
