you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
