She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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