And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
