Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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