i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
