did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
