are you still at the devil's house?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
