he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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