wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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