Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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