I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
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