Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize