she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
