I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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