Heybabeimwearingurpanties
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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