I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
