I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
