Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
