So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
