I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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