Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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