I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She's the barista slut.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
