my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
