i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize
