people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
