Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
