I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
