I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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