Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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