I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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