I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
