I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
