She's JV to your varsity
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
