Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's blow job season.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
