do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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