i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
