What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
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He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
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Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
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